© Elana Ho
JUSTINA
Justina is a parent, cancer survivor, widower, and fan of Britney Spears. They have been homeless for 10+ years. They are 31 years old.
This is their story - in their own words.
This interview lasted 30 minutes and was recorded on October 1st, 2022 at Mercy House. At the time of the interview, Justina went by Justin. Since then, they have changed their name to Justina and goes by they/them pronouns.
My name is Justin[a] and I’m an addict who has experienced a decade of homelessness.
My biological mom was a hooker and a needle head. She gave me and my sister up for adoption and got clean afterward. Some people think that’s easy but it’s not - my [biological] mother did what every best mother would have done - she gave me to a great mother who loved me. My mom was a grandma: 1 biological kid, 1 adopted kid, and then got me at 48 years old. Crazy, but she did it.
I had a great childhood. My mom was a raging alcoholic but the house was immaculate, she was a neat freak. Dinner was five stars. The clothes were fresh and new and my dad worked his ass off as a truck driver. He wasn’t a fatherless father - he was like a rich dad who was always gone.
I met my husband Tommy Ray Johnson when he was dating my mother - they had misunderstandings. He didn’t like the way her attitude was and how he treated people so he left her. We ended up talking, we ended up dating and within 9 months he died.
The alcohol wasn’t doing it anymore so by 2011/early 2012, I was using meth like they were cough drops. I ended up so depressed - I gave my kid up. I lost the house. I lost the trailers. I totaled my car. I went through $12,000 in 9 months. And I was completely and utterly broken in half by the time I was 21.
I tried to kill myself in 2013. I jumped off the railing in Lubbock, Texas. My purse strap caught on the railing - it should have broke but it didn’t. That is the day I started believing in God:
April 21st, 2014.
© Elana Ho
In 2014, I moved to San Antonio where I met my second husband. I met Keyon and my heart jumped out of my chest and jumped back in hard. We were married 45 days before everything went dark. We got into it so bad I was in a coma for almost 6 months.
When I woke up I had brain damage, memory loss, and I had now had a cancerous tumor form in my head. I beat cancer in Denver, Colorado.
Then my mother had her first stroke. I was in jail, I didn’t know. I came back, I kicked my niece out, my brother out, and my dad because no one was helping.
My sister lived in Rochester Hills, Michigan and I told her we need help: Mom refuses to come back to Michigan, I refuse to let her go back, I need someplace to go - we need help. At this point I was still doing meth.
We got us a little two bedroom - the two bedroom, two bathroom apartment - college apartment. We lived there for 2 years. By then momma had pins in her arms, hip surgery, pelvic surgery, 4 strokes, and 4 seizures and heart problems and high blood pressure. And at this point she is getting Alzheimer’s. I was the primary caretaker for my mom but my sister was providing the money for us to live (paying the bills with her and her husband’s money, buying us cigarettes, ordering us stuff off Amazon, doing whatever she could).
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Finally…she said that’s okay: “I’m going to be grown up, you’re not going to have anything to do with mom until after you’re clean.” She was showing me tough love. And that was the best thing she could have ever done.
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Because now, I’m clean. I am living in Ann Arbor Michigan, I am on housing listings, I am ready to go, and I have learned to love myself.
I am ready to go, and I have learned to love myself.
© Elana Ho
I know I’ve been through a lot. A lot of sad stuff has happened to me and I should be sad. I’m sad all the time. But I’m very convinced that my husband’s spirit is around me. I’ve been through so much and I’ve come out of the other end of every situation so much stronger than I have.
God has so much of a plan for us. I’m excited to see where mine goes. Hopefully it takes me to live in a house with my son being 15 and me having my own business. Either house restoration or remodeling or house cleaning.
© Elana Ho
I haven’t been the best kid to my mom, I’ve always taken advantage of her, stolen from her, treated her like shit and my mom has always been right there with open arms.
She is what gives me my strength and my backbone to stand up for myself and not let anyone run me over. My sister is amazing too. I come from a family line of very, very strong independent women and workaholic men like my dad and my uncle and I think that’s what’s going to make the very best new version of me.
So just remember - life is what you make it.
Interviewer's Note
The thing that really sticks out to me about Justina’s story is gratitude. When talking about their childhood, there isn't a tinge of bitterness in their voice - just empathetic compassion.
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When Justina talks about their birth mother getting clean after they were given up for adoption, I can’t help but notice the twinkle of pride in their eye, the generational nod, perhaps to their own journey of getting clean as well. That they and their birth mother are both overcomers in their own way.
It seems that, in many ways, Justina understands what it means to be human more than the rest of us. They don’t sugarcoat anything or put on any false airs - in fact, multiple times during our interview they says something, then claps their hand over their mouth, laughing: “I can’t say that!” Justina is brutally honest about the faults of others and themself- and yet, they acknowledge the strength and beauty in everyone.
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One more thing about Justina you should know - they're hilarious. During our interview, we joke about everything from Brittney Spears to Ariana Grande’s 7 rings. Even when talking about their struggles with mental health, they say: “I feel like you have to have laughter.”
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At the end of our interview, they tell me about the kind of person they wants to be in the future - the kind of person they're becoming: “Sweet. Honest. Nice. Very giving.”
When I first sit down with Justina, they tell me about how much they love Christmas: “I go ballistic with Christmas decorations.” As I walk away from Mercy House that day, this image sticks sharply in my mind: a string of Christmas lights, giving light, even in the most frigid cold.
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