KRISTIAN
Kristian is a parent and longtime Michigander. He is 52 years old.
This is his story - in his own words.
This interview lasted an hour and took place on October 12th, 2022 at Mercy House.
© Elana Ho
My mom died when I was little so I didn’t really get to know my mom. I was a baby when she jumped off the San Francisco bridge and drowned. My dad was nowhere to be found - he was at service in the navy. So I came down to Detroit to be with my grandma. Then she passed away and around the same time, after that my dad passed. So then I was living in Detroit with some other family members - it was kind of rough, I was bouncing from place to place. I was going through a lot. I dropped out of high school in 11th grade and it was kind of hard for me but I still made it.
After I dropped out, I had children. I found jobs, I was going from temporary job to temporary job. I finally got this one job that I liked and I ended up getting hired there.
I had an apartment in Ypsilanti and I was letting some people stay with me - they ended up moving out and I lost my place because I couldn’t afford it myself with the income I had. I ended up having an eviction on my record which is still on there today so everytime I go look for housing it’s something that I have to work on.
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Then I got sick - I got COVID. At the same time, I had sarcoidosis. I kept coughing and complaining of pain. I went to St Joe’s hospital twice and they said we can't find anything wrong with you and sent me home. I knew I needed a second opinion. I came to the U-M hospital and was rushed in for surgery - I had a herniated lung. I was in the hospital for maybe three months. After I got sick, I couldn’t work. I took a leave of absence from my job and was living off unemployment. I was supposed to go back to work but I was still having complications from COVID. I didn’t go back in a timely fashion and ended up getting my unemployment cut off early.
© Elana Ho
I went and stayed with my children’s mom and my sons in Kalamazoo, Michigan. I’m so thankful for them because they helped me a lot. With one lung, they had to help feed me and clothe me. I had to learn everything all over again. It was like being a baby. I had to learn how to walk again. How to shower again. How to breathe. You know, you take that for granted - how hard it is to breathe?
"You know you take that for granted - how hard it is to breathe?"
© Elana Ho
Went through it all, I’m still here. God’s still with me and I’m glad and I’m going to make it.
I think about all the people that didn’t make it and I was the person that made it. It makes me want to keep going and just not give up because I know if I can make it there’s other people out there who are going through the same thing and maybe I can help them.
I didn’t give up. I just keep trying to persevere and push on because if I give up then what was it all for? I’ve been through too much just to quit. I look at it like this: I went through so much that it seemed like I wasn’t supposed to make it out of those situations and I made it through with the help of the God of Israel. I made it through everything so I’m just grateful for that.
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I don’t fault anyone.
For a while I was very bitter when I was going through certain things but I’ve just learned now that being that way will block my blessings.
I used to think a lot about why mom left me, but I look at it like this now - If I didn’t go through all the things I'd been through, I wouldn’t be me.
"I look at it like this now: If I didn't go through all I'd been through, I wouldn't be me."
© Elana Ho
I had to just try to continue and do whatever I could that was good and try to help others as much as I could.
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It’s been such a learning experience.
Interviewer's Note
Kristian has a quiet strength about him. His voice isn't the loudest in the room. Rather, most times, when I walk into Mercy House, I find him on the couch, a little away from everything, simply observing, taking everything in. And yet it's undeniable, that he has shown much resilience and perseverance throughout his life.
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Kristian teaches me that strength doesn't have to look a certain way. That strength isn't necessarily found in achieving or doing the most, but sometimes strength is simply picking yourself up and starting over. Then doing that over and over again.
Kristian teaches me that there's also a certain strength found in patience. In waiting to heal and believing you will. Today, Kristian is still waiting: waiting to get his own place and be permanently housed. And yet, through all this, he holds out hope.
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When I ask Kristian how he'd like to be described, he simply says this: "Outgoing, persevering, very strong. Willing to persevere through each challenge."